As per my usual routine, I opened up Twitter yesterday to browse through people’s posts. I was immediately bombarded by people bitching about Charlie Sheen’s live show. It sucked! It was a rip off! He never throws his fastball anymore, just The Eliminator! Really, people? You are that shocked? If you’re gonna buy tickets for that, maybe I could interest you in Pittsburgh Pirates World Series tickets?
Here’s the facts. The tour itself is called Charlie Sheen LIVE: My Violent Torpedo Of 
Truth. First off, what does that even mean? Secondly, can your expectations be high for something called this? When looking on Ticketmaster’s site, the tour was listed under the category “COMEDY”. I guess Ticketmaster hasn’t created the category “GIANT CLUSTERFUCK” on their website yet.
Then there are the ticket prices (sample locale, the Foxwoods Casino in CT). Orchestra section $150.00. Mezzanine $82.50 – $150.00. Parterre $110.00. People actually shelled out cash like that to listen to a half-lucid, crazy drunkard ramble on for an hour! I can sit at the bar at Karaoke Hut and hear that for free (Sorry Steve.)! The only way that it would be worth it is if you’re sitting in the front row, getting sprayed by the excess cocaine like a fucked up Gallagher show.
By all accounts, attendees said that the show lasted under an hour. Look, Charlie Sheen has places to go and hookers to do. He can’t be held down by actually earning his money. Honestly, you can’t complain about being ripped off when you bought tickets to something called Charlie Sheen LIVE: My Violent Torpedo Of Truth. You’ve had months to watch the Sheen fiasco unfold, and you still were curious to see the train wreck.
In the end, you got taken the minute you whipped out your credit card and hit click. Deal with it. Meanwhile the Sheen Train chugs on, doing what it does best… winning.
